All Alone

i've trapped myself into a corner with nowhere to turn, no way to reach for a hand. no light shines here. so i sit, staring into darkness, waiting hopelessly for someone to break down these walls..

Wrapped Up In You

The way your hand feels in mine is enough to stop the world around me from spinning out of control and exploding into dust. It feels so right. Like God designed my hand so perfectly, so my fingers fit just right between yours, my fingertips resting in the grooves between your knuckles, gently brushing your soft skin. When you take my hand in yours my fingers ache to explore every bump, every crevice, every inch of your hand. I ache to explore every inch of you. Your powerful arms that pull me close. Your strong back, lifting me when I am weak. Your chest, up and down, heart beating softly with the steadiness of a clock, safe, as I lay there drifting into sweet dreams. Your eyes, glistening as they look me over. Your lips, tenderly curved into a smile. I never want to leave you. We fit together so perfectly, you feel like a blanket laying over me, keeping me warm. You are my comforter. Pull me close so every bit of me is wrapped in you. Never let me go. I love you.

I Love You.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

There's no other way to say it. I love you.

Taking My Life (Back?)

I'm not supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be gone. I'm supposed to be over. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm not supposed to be bothering people anymore. They're supposed to be moving on with their lives. Their lives without me. My room should be sitting empty, quiet. My belongings should be divided, packed away. There should be a grave. A stone bearing my name and two dates just over eighteen years apart. The earth should be soft. The flowers should be wilting. The rain should be falling. There should be rain. But there should be no me. I shouldn't be here. I'm not supposed to be here. There should be no tears, but that's all I bring. I need to leave, and take these tears with me. I'm taking my life back. I'm not supposed to be here. Why can't you understand? You stole my life, but I'm taking it back. I'm taking my life. I'm not supposed to be here.

Thank you. I'm sorry. I love you.

I attempted suicide last week. Took a lot of pills and alcohol. But before falling asleep I sent a text message to my best friend. My real-life superman. So now I'm still alive. How do you thank someone for saving your life? How do you apologize for almost ruining theirs?
I can't even explain how I feel about him right now. When I'm not with him all I think about is being with him. When I am with him I never want to let go of him. I want to be in his life forever. I never want to lose him. I want to call him family, call his family my own. I love him so much. And I feel terrible because I keep seeing the look on his face when I walked into my apartment where he stayed the entire time I was in the hospital. I always told him that he didn't show enough emotion, but the look on his face when I stepped in the door and he pulled me into the tightest hug I've ever felt was enough emotion to last me a lifetime. A lifetime that I now know will be very long.