Whatever Ever After

Memories litter my floor. Broken smiles hidden under a thick layer of dust. Happiness trying to be forgotten because tears of joy are now accompanied by a flood of pain and loneliness. Old birthday cards celebrating special days. Wrinkled pictures commemorating our achievements, a love long ago lost concealed in their creases. Funny faces in photobooths that used to set our hearts giggling. Cigar buts reminding of reckless mistakes of youth. Seashells like angel wings, because you said I was yours. A pinecone as a corny gift, but probably the most sincere gift ever given. In the middle of it all, a poem; haunting lines of shattered promises. “Always” and “forever” sprinkled throughout the mess along with “I love you” torment endlessly. Was there ever truth in these eyes? Will anything but hate ever pierce through them again? Will my dreams ever bring rest? But despite everything, this is how it had to end. There was never any hope of a happy ever after in our futures. And so, as these memories age and yellow in a box in the back of a dank closet, I too will age, my heart will grow, my eyes will glow, and a smile will touch my lips. I wish the same and more for you, but I hope I never see you again.

A Part of My Past

I wrote this one when I was 12 years old:

In Fate's Hands
It was a dark, dark night with only the light of the moon guiding me down the bumpy dirt road. The trees to my left were ghostly figures, dancing in the wind, and to my right was a cliff of never-ending darkness. I walked rather hastily along the winding path, fearful of what lurked ahead. The wind whistled in my ears and for a moment the moonlight was blocked by hundreds of black bats, swarming the midnight sky and calling for any forlorn insect who might wander their way. Off in the distance I heard the cry of a lone, blood-thirsty wolf and I shivered, thinking of the dreadful ending of my life forever if I were to meet the creature. Up ahead I could see my destination, the old inn. I sped up a bit, longing for the warmth and comfort of a bed. As I approached the rotting building and stepped up to the creaky stairs, I saw a sign in the window reading, “Sorry, out of business”. My blood bubbled and a shiver went down my spine as I read those words. My life was now in the hands of fate, and the odds were against me…

and this one when I was 13 years old:

And All Is Lost

I take it out
From time to time
To dust it off
Just to remind
Me of the thing
That were to be
I only you
Had stayed with me.
If only we
Were still a pair.
Fun forever
Without a care.
If only we
Were still good friends,
Together we
Were til the end.
If only you
Were never lost
I would not need
To pay this cost.
But now we drift
And so I must
Just take it out,
Blow off the dust.
This is all that
Remains to show.
What could have been,
We’ll never know.