sXe

Starting today I promise myself to live the straight edge lifestyle for one month.

I promise myself I will refrain from alcohol use.
I promise myself I will refrain from drug use (including tobacco).
I promise myself I will refrain from casual sex.

I promise to respect myself by respecting my body.
I promise to remain in control of my life by remaining in control of urges and temptations.

I promise myself I will love myself for who I am.

All of this I promise to myself, not to anyone else.

Feels like eighteen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! Nineteen today. Doesn't feel so different.

Last year I waited all day for a phonecall from you, but it never came. You forgot my birthday. This year I know it won 't come again, because right about now you're wishing I had never been born.

Someone's Sister

You lost respect for me. Maybe it was my own fault for losing all my self respect. After all, how could you respect someone who doesn’t respect herself? I guess I thought that respect was like love. You always loved me long before I learned to love myself. In fact, you taught me how to love myself again and how to love others when my heart had failed. So why couldn’t you respect me? Why couldn’t you teach me to respect myself and to demand the respect I deserved from all men? Instead you laughed at me, and every shred of dignity I was clinging to fell from my grasp. I’m someone’s sister too. I’m someone’s daughter too. Someday I’ll be someone’s wife. And someday down the road I’ll even be someone’s mother. But all you see is someone’s bitch. And I won’t blame you for my fall to this place, but know that I certainly won’t thank you when I climb out of it.