Missing You Is Killing Me

No matter how far away I run, no matter how fast I move, no matter how much I try to cover my tracks, they always seem to find me. I don't know how they do it. Maybe they hide in my bags, or sneak in the back seat of the car when I'm not looking. Maybe they latch themselves onto my shoes and hold on for the hike. Maybe they can smell me out and hunt me down like prey. It doesn't really matter how they do it. The point is, I can't outsmart them. I can't escape them, I can't hide from them, and I most certainly can't face them head on and fight them. They have defeated me. I am at their mercy. They control my life. Every minute of every day they are there. In my dreams they are there. When I smile, when I frown, when I laugh, when I cry. When I'm tired, when I'm wide awake. When I'm surrounded by people, and when I'm alone in my room. They are always there. I try to ignore them, but to no avail. There is no hope. There is no way to beat them. They are more powerful than anything I've ever known. They are forceful, destructive, catastrophic, and yet delicate and beautiful too. They are in charge of my life now.

These thoughts of you, always creeping in my head. Why can't I forget you?

Missing someone has to be one of the most exhausting things one can experience.