Monday, January 22, 2007

13 Secrets

(inspired by http://itsureiscold.blogspot.com/ and http://iwannabebetterthanoxygen.blogspot.com/)

13 things you may not know about me..

1. I wish I could track down my best friend from when I was a toddler, just to see how she's turned out. I've even spent hours looking for her on the internet.

2. Sometimes I find myself looking down on my mom because I feel like I'm smarter than her.

3. I like thinking about what my funeral would be like. When I'm depressed I like it because I like the thought of me being dead. When I'm happy I like it because I like thinking about all the people who would go to my funeral; it reminds me that I'm loved.

4. I drink because my dad does and I hope that one day he'll find out that by the age of seventeen I've already earned myself the nickname "The Alcoholic" among my friends, and it'll hurt him as much as his drinking has hurt me.

5. I have the potential to be so much more than I am.

6. The one thing I can always count on to keep me from killing myself when I get really depressed is the thought of what it would do to my mom.

7. I use guys when I know they like me.

8. I think me and my best friend are drifting apart and I think it's my fault. I love her, but sometimes I just can't stand being around her.

9. I say I don't want kids because they're loud, annoying, etc.. The truth is, I've seen plenty of wonderful kids who have been raised really well; I'm just afraid my kids wouldn't turn out that way.

10. I still cry once in a while when I think about my dog. She died three years ago and I truly believe that I would be happier and a better person if she was still alive, or if my parents would let me get a new dog.

11. I don't feel beautiful, and I hate smiling, but I love it when he says "smile, Beautiful".

12. I love the rain. I can't think of anything better than walking home alone in the rain on a cool fall day.

13. I say "I love you" because I love hearing people say it back.

2 Comments:

Blogger Aisling. said...

3. I like thinking about what my funeral would be like. When I'm depressed I like it because I like the thought of me being dead. When I'm happy I like it because I like thinking about all the people who would go to my funeral; it reminds me that I'm loved.

12:03 p.m.  
Blogger Aisling. said...

**comment messed up.

What I wanted to say:

Sometimes I want to kill myself & go to my funeral so I can see if he'd come; or if he'd care at all..

12:03 p.m.  

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