My Song

(Note: I have been trying a new kind of writing for me where i just say what comes to my head. Throughout all our lives we are taught to keep these thoughts inside. We are always told to "think before we speak". In school they teach us to make plans for all our reports. Nothing that we say is really how we truly feel, meerly an edited version of what we think we are supposed to think. So I am trying to write exactly how i feel by writing exactly what comes to mind. It doesn't always make sense and when i start writing something I don't always even know what I'm going to end up writing. Anyways, this is the first thing that I felt like I truly accomplished that.)

Sometimes, so full of emotions am I, my heart screams for some release. It swells almost to the point of bursting. I think that everyone can hear it pound, like a drum, beating out my feeling. But no one hears. No one knows what I feel because only I can feel the rhythme of my heartbeat against my chest. I try to live to this rhythme, in harmony with he drums of my soul, but sometimes I miss a beat. The error seems so obvious, the entire song of my life thrown off. I fear humiliation from failure, for I cannot play the song. I am not worthy of this song. And yet the criticism does not come. The sound of laughter does not reach my ears. Instead I hear the drums back in rhythme, the song goes on. No one has taken notice of my mistake. No one hears the off-beat rhythme. No one realizes that I missed a beat. An I remember that no one hears my song. And I cry two tears. The first is a tear of happiness that I have escaped humiliation. the second a tear of sadness that my song will go unheard to the ears of the world. No one mourns the loss of my missed beat. But I will mourn.