lost in my own head

i don't know what to say. i am feeling so many emotions right now, i can't even express them. i don't even understand what i'm feeling or why i'm feeling this way. i'm so confused. this sucks! i have everything! everything! i have 2 good jobs, amazing marks in school, tons of friends, great parents, everything i could possible want! but something is missing. i keep on wondering why i do all this. why do i work 2 part-time jobs? why do i work my ass of in school? why do i work myself so hard that i'm constantly sick from sleepless nights? just so i can have some "great" job when i'm older and make a lot of money? cause that really doesn't seem like a great answer right now, and i really don't know what i'm doing. i don't know why i'm here. i'm so lost in my head, but no one seems to notice. everyone just sees this bullshit face i put on. but lately i've been having trouble keeping it all up. people are starting to notice, and i can't decide if i want to just pull down that mask and let everyone see, or turn and run, leaving not even a glass slipper behind. i don't know anymore. i'm so confused.