This Battle Inside My Head
This battle inside my head rages forever. Nonstop. Day and night. Wherever I am this battle goes with me. A moment of peace is something I only dream of. Music pounding in my ears and all I hear is the voices in my head, back and forth, angry words and harsh cries. The sun setting in the distance, pink clouds and purple skies, and all I see is the battlefield I have created in my mind. People who love me surround me and all I feel is alone. No one knows this feeling. No one can know.
In this war there is no right side or wrong side. Everything is crumbling, a mess of thoughts and emotions in dissaray. In this war, there are no dead bodies lying in the mud, but there is blood on my hands, on my arms, dripping to the floor, and inside I have died. I died a long time ago. And now I walk among the living and I see their eyes, full of light and life, and I know that they too will soon die. Everyone knows that we all die eventually, but what some don't realize is that, long before our hearts stop beating, they stop glowing, and we die inside. A light goes out. Our eyes become dull. Our hearts heavy and dark. And our minds become battlefields in a war between the instinct to go on and the desire to give up.
If you are among those who still live in happiness, hold on to that light. Protect the flame with everything you have because that flame IS everything you have and once you lose it you have lost everything. Don't let any wind blow it out, any drop of rain put it out, any hand smother it. Love your light like you love your life, because this light IS your life.
If you are among those who wander aimlessly through the empty streets of the world, you are not alone, yet at the same time you are. You see, there are other like you, others who have lost everything they loved, everything they lived for. There are others who know how you feel. But, like you, they do not understand and they can think of nothing but the battle in their own heads, so they cannot help you. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I wish someone could help me, but I know that no one can save me from this pain.
This battle inside of me rages on, but I don't know if I can go on with it. I don't know if I can go on.
In this war there is no right side or wrong side. Everything is crumbling, a mess of thoughts and emotions in dissaray. In this war, there are no dead bodies lying in the mud, but there is blood on my hands, on my arms, dripping to the floor, and inside I have died. I died a long time ago. And now I walk among the living and I see their eyes, full of light and life, and I know that they too will soon die. Everyone knows that we all die eventually, but what some don't realize is that, long before our hearts stop beating, they stop glowing, and we die inside. A light goes out. Our eyes become dull. Our hearts heavy and dark. And our minds become battlefields in a war between the instinct to go on and the desire to give up.
If you are among those who still live in happiness, hold on to that light. Protect the flame with everything you have because that flame IS everything you have and once you lose it you have lost everything. Don't let any wind blow it out, any drop of rain put it out, any hand smother it. Love your light like you love your life, because this light IS your life.
If you are among those who wander aimlessly through the empty streets of the world, you are not alone, yet at the same time you are. You see, there are other like you, others who have lost everything they loved, everything they lived for. There are others who know how you feel. But, like you, they do not understand and they can think of nothing but the battle in their own heads, so they cannot help you. I wish I could help you, but I can't. I wish someone could help me, but I know that no one can save me from this pain.
This battle inside of me rages on, but I don't know if I can go on with it. I don't know if I can go on.
2 Comments:
"And our minds become battlefields in a war between the instinct to go on and the desire to give up."
holy moly thats a good quote:P do you mind if i use it in my msn name? like i could put trisha at the end if u like so im not stealing ur credit or something...but i really like it:) and i know how u feel, but like you said, that doesn't help because the feeling is one of being stuck. its like a moth flying at a light covered in glass so they can never reach it. it doesnt matter that there are hundreds of moths doing the same thing. they still feel the frustration and pain of not attaining their particular satisfaction.
speaking of satisfaction, i tried beer, it was good :D lol but i didnt drink enough to get drunk at all (i shared a beer with someone)...so yea, no risks there:P lol and i added u on msn. what city r u from?
Hahaha yea one of my best friends is OBSESSED with coolers...i havnt triedd them LOL but i hope to...apparently they are pretty siick:P
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